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Sunday, June 15th, 2003
11:29 pm
one girl at work has tennis elbow.
she doesn't play tennis.

scooping ice-cream is hard.
there is a right way and a wrong way to do it.
I think I have the wrong way mastered.

what are the early signs for tennis elbow?

it pays well. That's what counts. At least it will cover my hospital bill.

i am a whimp.

(Am I sane?)

Wednesday, June 11th, 2003
6:50 pm
summer is good.

work out in the morning
eat light breakfast
work at baskin-robins/togos part time
visit boyfriend/other friends
work out in the evening

summer is good.

I am thinking about taking some kind of a class. Contemplating belly dancing, but I am not decided. This summer has purpose. I feel important. I am needed. I like this feeling.

Several people say they feel neglected by me, but i fail to see where that is my problem that they are co-dependent. I am living for me. I don't do that very often and it feels good.

summer is good.

(Am I sane?)

Tuesday, February 18th, 2003
1:32 pm - !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




(Am I sane?)

Sunday, January 5th, 2003
1:03 pm - OH yes, I find this funny,
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.

I work at great depths.

I plunge head first into everything I do.

I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

I work in a damp environment.

I don't get paid overtime.

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.


Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the argument you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight, you fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.

You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the corrective protective clothing.

You'll retire well before reaching 65.

You're unable to work double shift.

You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work.

And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

The Management

(Am I sane?)

12:57 pm
i just spent the past hour making my own TWIRPS picture. I didn't go to TWIRPS with matt, since I went with tony, but my best friend alliosn did. I took her out of the picture and I had to modify the poses since we didn't get the same pose. Anyways, the picture of me and matt now looks awesome. I am good on computer. I'll take it to school and show them tomorrow. I am good.

Day two of not seeing matt. I don't know how I used to date guys from paradise. I can't stand not seeing matt and I feel selfish because maureen hardly sees taylor. Hrm. I will see him tomorrow and all will be swell. No yearbook for me tomorrow. I must get my teath cleaned. hrm. I look forward to school tomorrow. I am bored. grr.

(Am I sane?)

Saturday, January 4th, 2003
4:09 pm
wow I decided that I way bored and today my life has no meaning. I got stranded up here in forest ranch for the entire weekend. That doesn't seem like such a big deal, I practically spent the entire summer up here, but it is now that I have had a real taste for freedom. Speaking of taste...

fruit loops

You Taste Like Fruit Loops!

Sweet, colorful, and crunchy.

With enough chemicals to kill

A family of four. Sugar coated fangs!

What Do *You* Taste Like?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

I decided that it is pathetic that I am grounded for a whole two days to finish my drawings for drafting. I started them this morning except I don't understand what I am doing. I gave up and decided that I would shop online. My mom doesn't seem to care, but it is my dad that will flip when he finds out that I didn't do it.

He is trying to treat me like a child again. He thinks that I don't manange my time. I didn't finish all my drawings before break like everyone else so Mr. Goodess let me take them home. Matt says it's only becasue I have boobs. I decided that I don't want an unfair advantage and no one else was given this opportunity. It isn't a matter of not knowing how to schedule my time, but a matter of what my priorities are versus my dad's.

I don't want to go to a big fancy school. I don't want to make as much money as he does. I don't just want to have one kid to support and spend my life being a fucking stress case. I don't want to be a fucking engineer and that is all my dad wants me to be. He wants me to live my life the way that he wishes he had and yada yada yada. I hate it. I don't want to do it.

I am going through this faze right now. I want lots of kids when I am older. Like 3 or 4. That is a big deal to someone who is an only child. I want to be the cool mom that all her kids' friends wish they had for thier own. I want to be the soccer mom, her kids' biggest fan, drive a van and be fun. I don't want to be the mom that her kid hates and can't talk to. That isn't fair to my kids. I don't even know why I am thinking about kids so much lately, but I am. I guess I have some real problems with how my parents raised me and I wish that I wasn't an only child. I would trade all the materialistic things we have if only I could have a sibling. That is so sad, but family is important to me. I want to marry a guy who has a lot of family. I want to be a part of a big family. I hate my small family. We fight and everything is my fault.

I can't wait to go back to school. I am so done with break. I hate being grounded, even if it is only for one more day. I want to see matt. I am pathetic. I can't stand not seeing him.

(Am I sane?)

1:58 pm
I must be crazy for posting this, but the test was cute.

g-string panties

You Are G-String Panties!

100% pure raw sex, baby!

You're hot and not afraid to flaunt it.

What's Kind of Panties Are *You*?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

My life as been all around wonderful. I can't belive that I am so happy with matt right now. It is too good to be true. I am so excited. ::sigh::

(Am I sane?)

Monday, December 30th, 2002
6:05 am - I think I am going to be sick.
i am going to go get my hair cut today (I am terrified of the baber, I have been cutting my own hair for years).

I didn't get to see matt at all yesterday and I think that I am going to make myself sick with anticipation. It was the first day that I hadn't seen him. I have seen him and spent time with him everyday for the past 8 weeks (yes everyday on the weekends too). It is sad. Maybe I will make myself sick thinking about how attatched I am. But he is the one who kept calling me yesterday asking if I was coming into town or if I could just swing by his house for a couple minutes. I woke up extra early today (like I used to when I was a little kid on Christmas morning).

This is sad and exciting all at the same time.

(Am I sane?)

Sunday, December 29th, 2002
12:18 pm
wow! I haven't written in here in a while. It is weird to open it up again. My christmas break has been one of the best. I am so excited. Matt and I are together. He is such a sweetheart and we have a really good relationship. We are a lot alike and that makes it interesting. He has reminded me that life is about more than just working and yearbook. I feel more relaxed. I am not in a hurry to do anything, but just be me. I feel almost completely rejuvinated...almost ready to go back to yearbook. By this thursday though I have a feeling that I will be ready to work and I am looking forward to it.

Matt is coming up on monday to spend the day with me. I am going down in the morning to wake him up. I love his family too. They are the greatest. He lives in house with six men, it is so crazy. His dad says that I am the best girl that any of the boys have brought home. His mom left him when he was four so there aren't any women in the house, which means that when I am there I have to be just one of the guys. It was really weird when his dad invited me over to spend the night. I looked at him like he was crazy. I couldn't be more happy right now. It just amazes me how much my life has changed over the past two months and I am really happy.

I am going to stop being a mushy love ball.

(6 NO, I think you are crazy! s | Am I sane?)

Thursday, December 12th, 2002
8:16 pm
deadline night two. better. we exchanged secret santa gifts. It was fun. I feel realy special right now. Jessica bought me a fat stuffed snowman. I love snowman. She wasn't my secret santa or anything and she bought it for me anyway. I feel so great right now. Today was an all around good day and I am feeling much lighter. It might have something to do with the fact that my parents are out of town saturday night and I am having a fat party. Matt is excited to come. But those are details that I don't care to go into right now. I am in here until 10 tonight.

(1 NO, I think you are crazy! | Am I sane?)

Tuesday, December 10th, 2002
5:16 pm
please someone kill me. I am in yearbook. Help! I can't get out. I am listening to Jesus music. It is scary music. Save me. Proofs just came in. We are on the third deadline nights, finishing the second deadline from three weeks ago. I hate this class. I hate the people in here. Julie is supposed to bring me back a peach milkshake from Big Als. I miss jimmy I want him back. I hate this class. Jimmy is the only reason I survived last year. I can't do this again. Fucking just kill me and get this over with.

(1 NO, I think you are crazy! | Am I sane?)

Sunday, November 3rd, 2002
3:26 pm
Why is it that yearbook has created this problem for itslef, then iether takes out anger on hopkins or myself. It is not my fault that we missed the deadline, it isn't my fault that we still haven't made it two weeks later, nor that we are going to miss the second one. They complain because we have to stay in at lunch and until 5pm everyday. Why is it that people tell me about how bad they have it. I got new for people I have to stay too and I am trying my best not to complain. Ok, so this is complaining, but I was provoked.

Editors seem to have this idea that we do less work than other people. They are complaining about writing captions, taking pictures, or even writing copy. That is our job. We are supposed to be the best at what we do and it is supposed to be very simple. So when a person asks us to write a caption for a picture, it should be easy. There are no rules stating that as an editor you don't have to do some of the things that a regular staff member does. And yes things are harder. News Flash! I wish everyone would stop their bitching and just get the job done. They are dragging this out way more than it needs to be. I am seriously contemplating not coming back next year.

I found my TWIRPS dress yesterday. It is so pretty. It looks like it is from the 1920's. I love it. I also found my prom dress. I didn't mean to, but it was on sale and it so pretty too.


(3 NO, I think you are crazy! s | Am I sane?)

Saturday, November 2nd, 2002
7:52 am - is it over yet?
The past few weeks have been beyond stressfull. I think the only real day this week was wednesday. We had a talkshow in copelands class and I was the hostess. It was a lot of fun. People seemed to enjoy it. I am the worst actor, but it was a lot of fun.

Everything seems hard now.

My little cousin down in vacaville is student of the month. She just started kindergarden. I can't believe how big she is getting. I am going down there today and hopefully I will get the chance to see them. My grandpa is back in and out of the hospital again. I don't think that has ever changed. Each visit is now treated as if it were his last. Is is wrong for me to wish that he would die? He is in so much pain and so is my grandma, that I just wish that it would be over for them. I don't want to loose them, but life works like that. Death comes, eventually.

I am also going down towards the sacramento area to find a TWIRPS dress. The dance is in two weeks and I don't have a dress. This should be interesting. I have to buy one, whether I like it or not. There are way too many things to be thinking about right now. I don't even really want to go to the dance. I am looking forward to spending time with tony, but I have news for him. If he doesn't dance, I will.


(Am I sane?)

Sunday, October 27th, 2002
2:38 pm
went to church for the secnond time in a while.

Went to the mall afterwards to see shane. We spent the last couple of hours together. It was really nice to see him. T

This entry is poitless and stupid, who would care about such things except me.

(Am I sane?)

Monday, October 21st, 2002
10:34 pm

take free enneagram test

debate in history...interesting. I don't think it is our best. It almost irritates me that our class isn't taking the debate to it's fully potential. I don't think that it is good being split evenly between men and women. It doesn't work. feelings.

(Am I sane?)

10:19 pm
life is full of idiots

(1 NO, I think you are crazy! | Am I sane?)

Sunday, October 20th, 2002
6:38 pm
I have issues with...
Take Word Association Test

(Am I sane?)

5:19 pm
I woke up early this morning and decided that i wanted to go to church. So I showered got dressed, drove down, walked into the dome...and realized that I knew no one there. Not knowing what time the serviced started I was there quite early. I sat alone by myself realizing that maybe it wasn't such a good idea. The service started with tons of singing. I like singing, but I actually wanted to hear the pastor preach. He was supposed to preach about time and how there isn't enough in the world. I don't even know what else he was going to say, but it might have been nice since that seems to realate to me right now. He said that ironically he didn't have enough time to finish. I think he planned it. He is going to finish it next sunday. So I am going back. I hope.

(Am I sane?)

Saturday, October 19th, 2002
9:10 pm - been a while

well the smallest deadline all year and not a single page was signed off on either deadline. There was a total of 48 pages going in, not too bad, but not one was signed off and completed. I am not too stressed about it, more worried about their grades.

Michelle turned 18 this last week. She is the most annoying thing on this earth. I can't handle it. If you met her you wouldn't even know that she really was 18, her maturity level is so low. She answered the phone in yearbook the other day by saying "18 year speaking". Hopkins was pissed, I was irritated. She makes little comments about stuff like that every day.

Poor steph is sick. I feel so bad for her.

Another first place award for yearbook!! I can't keep track of all of them. I don't remember what it was for, but we just got it back. It is so exciting to see how well we did last year, through all the stress and people. I hope this year will work out. I am sure that it will, it just hasn't started off as well as I would have liked.

Well, I finally got my license. I took the test again. Passed. I only missed two. My test was thursday and friday I took the car to school. It was so nice. I should have stayed for yearbook until at leat 4 or 430, but they weren't going to finish so I just left. It was so nice being able to escape so quickly. It was a lot easier to just leave the stress there.

We attempted to party for michelle's 18th last night. That failed. There was no reason for lying, but michelle dragged everyone and their mother into this lie with her parents and ashleys parents. There was so much drama. We went out with nicole. She is one of the new girls in yearbook whom I feel like I can really relate too. This morning when I woke up at 8:00, I packed my stuff and tried to leaver michelle's house as quietly as I could, but I woke michelle and julie up. Jewls decided that she wanted to leave too. She didn't want me to leave her there with michelle. So Jewls and I made americanized-french toast for breakfast at her house.

I had told my mom that I would be home about noon. I came home about 10:30 and did some chores for her. I think that she is realizing that this whole license thing is really going to work out both ways.

(Am I sane?)

Saturday, October 12th, 2002
10:12 pm
i am so sick. I hate it. I was starting to get sick on thursday and friday...then the weekend came and my body suffered a mass inundation of...whatever made me sick. It was aweful. I had to work on saturday morning too - up and out of bed at 4:30 in the am. The good news about that though is I finally get to be a photographer. My boss has been telling me that I will get to be one for the last few months, finally on saturday I did the team photos. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal. Actually I think that it is easier than beeing the assistant, but I get paid more. So my $10 an hour just went up again. I am so thrilled!!

i have so much homework this weekend. I slept all yesterday, once I got off work. The I spent the whole night half awake. It was horrible.

today is mother's birthday. Still haven't bought her a present and for once I have extra cash, but no license to leave and get her something. I feel bad. I told her. She said that we could go down later and pick something out together that she liked.

It is so strange to me how well my family is getting along. It amazes me that we are functioning like we actually like each other, imagine that!

I miss me. not sure which part. I feel like I am not me. Something has changed. hrm...


current mood: sick

(Am I sane?)

Monday, October 7th, 2002
6:50 pm
ok. Am I stressed? I don't believe that I am. I don't feel stressed (at least nothing compared to how I felt last year, no thanks to yearbook). So am I? It seems that people are worried about me and my stress level. There should be no reason for me to be overwhealmed right now. Maybe cerca to spring it might be appropriate to worry about my saneness, but it is only 7 weeks into school.

Jennie seems worried, my mom seems worried, allison seems worried. I am doing the best that I can. I have other issues in my life (that my some weird timewarp have nothing to do with yearbok). I am not sure where this feeling is coming from. I guess that you could gatagorize it as depression. The odd thing is I am fully aware of everything going on. I cannot controll everything and therefore should not worry about things that I have no controll over. I feel as though I am doing a good job of this.

On a different note. I asked tony to TWIRPS. I gave him a single red rose and interrupted Bertapelle's AP chem class. It was cute and simple. I hope that he pretty much realizes that I am over him. I have tried to make that clear without actually saying it, allthough TWIRPS probably counter-balanced that. There actually happens to be a new guy that I like. He has several qualities that I like...

curly hair
swimmer (featured in the papers all the time)=athetic
just moved here from foothill (that isn't really a quality)
used to be on their newpaper at foothill
he is in my AP History class (this and the previous quality combined = smart)
complimented me on my hair
*can spin a binder on one finger for extended lengths of time

ok. What an interesting combination. He is seems to be a really nice guy. He started sitting next to me in history for the past week. It was really cute.

I received my progress report in the mail. All A's, except for the one B in Trig, which can be raised. My grades are great.

My job is great. Pay checks coming in without taking too much time out of the rest of my life.

Family life is wonderful. My dad and I are getting along wonderfully. My mom and I usually do anyways.

Friends are fabulous.

Can anyone tell me why I feel so blue??? Allison thinks that because I have no real stress right now or problems that I am subconsiously creating my own. This sounds bizarre, but possible.

--yours truly,

(3 NO, I think you are crazy! s | Am I sane?)

Sunday, October 6th, 2002
6:29 pm
my computer is huge. It is so weird.

I just got a new scanner, web cam, and a computer that is twice as big as my old one. It is a lot eaier for my eyes to adjust to it. I must be blind. Actually it is just all part of my eye problem. Anyways I am happy.

The anniversary party went well last night. Worked on some chem homework and some history. My math teacher comes back tomorrow finally.


looked at school online for architecture. My mom and I are planning our trip down to southern california to tour the schools. I am excited about that. I am dying to see Cal Poly. I would love to tour that school. We have a list of about ten schools.

I need to help my mom with dinner.

(4 NO, I think you are crazy! s | Am I sane?)

Saturday, October 5th, 2002
12:52 pm

What character from 'Will & Grace' are you?

brought to you by Quizilla

(Am I sane?)

12:30 pm
today is my parents 17th anniversary. They are having some poeple come up tonight.
What does one buy for an anniversarry?

Just got off work and got my paycheck for last week.

I got another A on my chem test. This one was lower than last time. I need to make sure my grades don't drop this year. So far I have an A in all my classes except for math. I have a b- in trig. I feel so dumb. My teacher is coming back next week. I don't even know who my teacher is. we have had a sub the whole year.

I am done. I am tired

(Am I sane?)

Sunday, September 29th, 2002
3:58 pm
woke up early on saturday morning to head down to work. The day was crazy. We shot 26 football teams. It was insane. We were training a new photographer, but my boss is pissed because she screwed everything up. She lost the envelopes with money in them, screwed up rolls and frames. It was crazy. My boss was beyond pissed. I was on the table selling products. I am the saleswoman. I sold tons of packages. Two people bought packages that were over $120. It was awesome. So I get a bonus for all that. I also get another raise. two months ago I was getting paid $8 an hour. Then I got a raise to $10. I am going to get another raise again. She decided that between josh and myself she is going to train me on the cameras. She doesn't think that josh can handle it. Truthfully he can't. Since I am going to be a photographer I get another raise. I am so excited.

The begging of my day went really well. Then it got better. I went with dani to down to the red room. there were tons of people there. We went with her boys. Rachael was so jelous. Afterwards we went out and hung out with the band that played there. They all smokes bud, but I wasn't really in the mood. We went back to James' house and chilled there for a couple of hours. All the guys were really laid back it was nice. They all confessed that they were a little apprehensive with Dani bringing more chicks around for fear of another Rachael. I think forest put it best, "it's not her fault she is retarded." We never figured out whose fault it is, but i don't really care to contemplate about rachael.

My study group plans for the naked lounge fell through. I was really mad. oh well. I have another chem test on Wed. They seem to be quite frequent.

I am done. I don't update very often anymore for the lack of time. I am too busy. I wish that I wasn't.

(1 NO, I think you are crazy! | Am I sane?)

9:26 am

Which Sex and the City Vixen Best Matches Your Sex Style?

(1 NO, I think you are crazy! | Am I sane?)

8:49 am
"I believe that one of the characteristics of the human race
- possibly the one that is primarily responsible for its course
of evolution - is that it has grown by creatively responding
to failure."

*Glen Seaborg (i just learned about this guy in my chem class, so I think it odd that i found a quote from him)

This actually makes me feel better. So I failed my driving test. I really don't want to talk about it, let's just say this wasn't my fault...at all. Anyways. I spent a girls' night with my mom to compensate for my failure.

(Am I sane?)

Saturday, September 28th, 2002
4:57 am
I am a failure.

(3 NO, I think you are crazy! s | Am I sane?)

Sunday, September 22nd, 2002
1:17 pm - calm
last night was nice. Dani came up to the house for the first time. She was shocked by my house. I try to be humble. The night consisted of

>sex and the city
>tarot readings
>a combined of cooking talents to creat a masterpiece (which tasted like crap)
>two hours in the hot tub
>gossip about Rachael (how much she irritates us and the best way for Dani to be nice to her and stop hanging out with her at the same time)
>air hockey

We had a total girls night. Just the two of us. My parents left around 6pm and didnn't come home until sometime after midnight. We had the whole house to ourselves to just listen to music and live it up. It was great.

current mood: grateful

(Am I sane?)

Saturday, September 21st, 2002
8:56 am
what a long week.

I took a chem test earlier this week. I received 103.5, which turns out to be a bout 94%! I am so thrilled. So many people told me that I would fail. I expect the work to only get harder though, so this might prove to still be true in the long run.

Tony, hrm. We played with my drafting eraser during the debate in history yesterday. The eraser is like silly putty, in-case you don't know what a drafting eraser is. :) They are so much fun. The more you play with it, the softer it gets. We started writing messages back wards on our papers, then pressing the eraser into it. I know this is extremely junenile, but I enjoyed pretending that I was just a kid and not the "soon to be overwhelmed" junior in high shool.

I am doing really well in my drafting class. I think that I might actually want to pursue it for life. I will wait and see before any dicisions are made though. We are still only drawing basic design.

Yearbook, in my opinion, is fabulous. Besides the fact that none of the groups made their first deadline, i still think that we will be ok. We divided out their pages for the first deadline. Usually in the beginning of the year they only get two spreads per group. This year they have five. Hopkins and myself are hoping that we can bulk up the beginning of the year in hopes of not making the end of the year not so stressful.

The first deadline is Oct. 15th. My parents are in charge of the dinners this year. I told my mom we should do a BBQ for the first deadline, so we are. My dad is bringing the grill to the school and we will grill. I can't wait. I am really excited about everything.

I must admit that I am beginning to feel the stress creep up on me. I want to make sure that when it does, I am not too overwhelmed. I don't have time to get that way, nor do I want people to see me as the stress ball that I am.

(2 NO, I think you are crazy! s | Am I sane?)

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